


Colour me Curious

by NinaDewitt



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frustration, angsty kylo, chill reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 07:20:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22092193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinaDewitt/pseuds/NinaDewitt
Summary: Kylo Ren was a bad idea. An extremely tall and handsome one, but a bad one none the less. You had heard the popular tale about how he had, in a bout of satanic rage, murdered his own father and in turn kept his hair long to hide the pentagram, that the dark lord himself, had sliced into his forehead as a reward for his dark deeds. Yet, as heinous as this story was, Kylo did nothing to deter its spreading. He actually seemed to thrive in the black bubble of mystery that this petty gossip had created for him. And as the rumour festered, it eventually descended into fact after someone had scrawled ‘KYLO REN KILLED HIS DAD” over the wall of the boy’s bathroom; causing Kylo to become the horror story told at freshman sleepovers. It was therefore no surprise that whenever he trudged past in his doc martens, everyone who considered themselves sane would run in the opposite direction.Just another high school AU! LOL
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

Kylo Ren was a bad idea. An extremely tall and handsome one, but a bad one none the less. You had heard the popular tale about how he had, in a bout of satanic rage, murdered his own father and in turn kept his hair long to hide the pentagram, that the dark lord himself, had sliced into his forehead as a reward for his dark deeds. Yet, as heinous as this story was, Kylo did nothing to deter its spreading. He actually seemed to thrive in the black bubble of mystery that this petty gossip had created for him. And as the rumour festered, it eventually descended into fact after someone had scrawled ‘KYLO REN KILLED HIS DAD” over the wall of the boy’s bathroom; causing Kylo to become the horror story told at freshman sleepovers. It was therefore no surprise that whenever he trudged past in his doc martens, everyone who considered themselves sane would run in the opposite direction.

p>Your fascination with the dark-haired boy wasn't a simple crush though, no certainly not, it was curiosity that sparked your investigation into Kylo. You knew him before he became a patron saint of the ‘I exclusively pray to Gerard Way’ Club. You used to be neighbours, before he moved away. From what you heard through the neighbourhood grapevine, it was said that his Mom wanted a twelve-year-old Ben, as he was known back then, to escape the torment of having to suffer in a broken family, like she had, and in turn sent him to live with his uncle while she focused on fixing her relationship with Ben’s Dad, Han, and her career. But as a promised six-month holiday turned into one that spanned five years, a once carefree Ben returned home, understandably, feeling a bit bitter about the entire situation.

Looking at him now he looked considerably older than your average seventeen-year-old. It was as though the mixing of abandonment issues, dark hair and extreme intelligence had created a volatile hormone concoction, that not only developed his early bouts of cynicism but also his body, resulting in him becoming a six-foot mass, that was nearly as wide as he was long. This was a stark contrast in the appearance of the Ben you knew before, who was all limb and no substance. But that was just it, when he returned, he just wasn't the Ben you knew anymore. Your friendship which was once founded in a mutual dislike for anyone else that lived in your neighbourhood and a general tolerance for one another, had now been reduced to one based in mild stalking on your part. Back when you were younger, it was always nice to have him around, you had a bond that nobody else understood, and it sounded silly to think of your childhood friend in such an intense way, but you had never had a friendship like the one the two of you shared again. There was a point in time where you experienced everything with Ben, all your firsts as a child were done with him, whether it was your first sleep over, time riding a bike or even your first experience with chocolate, it was done with him; leaving every good memory of your childhood containing a little bit of Ben.

So, when you heard that he was moving back home, you were comparable to a seven-year-old that had just heard that mommy was too tired to cook so, everyone was getting a happy meal for dinner, with a sixty percent chance of a Mcflurry to finish off the night. You gave him a week to settle in, staving off your initial excitement before you accosted him with your new found charm, which would ultimately, result in the rekindling of your friendship, and after the week was up you ‘conveniently’ bumped into him on his way home from school and ‘accidentally’ dropped your bio books. A genius plan that did not turn out the way you expected. Instead of helping you out as Ben would have done, Kylo simply grunted at your apology and clambered through his front door without so much as a “how do you do”. Apparently, along with the change in name he came back with a re-wired memory circuit and appeared to have forgotten you entirely, and to say you were pissed off by his amnesia regarding your past together was an understatement

So you, being the mature adult that you were, sat in the library, where he often squirrelled away, and waited for any action of his that would suggest that he hadn't completely disregarded any memory of you. Admiring Kylo Ren, was akin to staring at a muddy puddle; he gave you that intense feeling of needing to jump in, lose all ambition and just say “Fuck it” and return home with dirt all over your new shoes, but when it came down to the wire, and you were about to become ‘one with nature’ you would return back to your senses and walk on by. He was quite frankly both intriguing and frustrating. You wanted to jump in, yell at him to remember you, yet, you often found yourself sitting near him in the library, just staring. He would brood and you would simply watch, while whatever boring book you had in your lap was forgotten. In fact, on one occasion said book took great offense to your indifference and slid right out of your hand hitting the deck, rather loudly, causing not only Kylo’s glare to be aimed in your direction but also that of every other being within a ten-mile radius. Even then, once the intense cringing subsided and your face no longer resembled a big red balloon, you went back to the library, albeit a few tables further away from him than where you used to sit and continued about your business.

You would get Kylo Ren to acknowledge you in one way or another; you just didn’t know how yet.


	2. Moday

The only thing worse than a regular Monday, was the first Monday back after the winter break. It never mattered how long the holiday was, you just never felt rested; Christmas created the perfect opportunity for drunk family members to strangle you for information and force their, unwanted, opinions down your choked throat. The holiday was made worse by the pre-celebration preparations, where your mother would go on an intense cleaning spree creating a (Y/L/N) house reformation. Everyday household items such as the straighteners were deemed too offensive to be allowed to be within two miles of a guest. Therefore, your mother took it upon herself to move them to a nondescript location, without informing you that she was doing so, just to save you the embarrassment of having to explain to your relatives why you owned such a perverse item in the first place. Over the years you had gotten used to this strange behaviour and just let her be, but this time she had forgotten where she had hidden the appliance. So, when Monday morning came around and your, normally gloriously crisp locks, were stuck in a bun looking like a tumbleweed had made a home atop your head, it made an already shitty day into one that included some equally shitty hair. Thanks Mom!

And so, you sat at the lunch table with your group; Finn, Rey and Poe, shifting your hair around hoping to keep it in order, at least until the end of the day, and at the same time, actively trying to avoid being dragged into one of Poe’s daily school football rants. Although, one of your best friends he was a bit of a hot head regarding the sport, and ever since Kylo joined the team, with around a hundred pounds more muscle and an extra 8 inches in height, challenging him for captaincy, he became even more insufferable than usual. Finn usually listened intently, his doe eyes fawning over his ‘friends’ passion but even now he seemed a bit sick of listening to Poe’s anti-Ren speech, yawning and rolling his eyes.

This continued on until Rey eventually threw her hands up in the air and smacked them dramatically on the table, gritting out “Poe, please stop, my head is going to explode if you mention Ren’s ‘bad attitude and poor tactics’ one more time”

“All I’m saying, is that if a guy disappears for years, he can’t just come in expecting to be Captain, it just doesn’t happen, right (Y/N)?” For some reason he smacked your shoulder confidently while smirking at you, expecting some support.

“Oh please, as if she’s gonna be on your side, (Y/N) is the biggest traitor here, giving the Big Emo, ‘stalker’ eyes, every time he walks past. Haven’t you guys noticed how she’s become a massive book worm recently, hanging around the library, where Kylie spends all his spare time?”

“Well, now that you mention it…” the boys looked at one another and then back at you, with curious looks on their faces.

“Rey! What the fuck, why is this about me now? I have not been giving him ‘stalker’ eyes” and in an attempt to defend yourself, you sacrificed your last chip, chucking it at her with immense force and scrunching your brow in a way that let her know that you were pissed.

And Rey being Rey, was willing to challenge that look. picking the chip up from the table, looking you dead in the eye and crunching it, signalising that she did not give a fuck. “I can’t listen to football talk anymore, and if I have to sacrifice you to make him stop, I will. Sorry (Y/N) nothing personal.”

Sometimes you really hated her.

Watching the silent chip filled stand-off that was occurring between the two of you, Finn, wanting to avoid being covered in lunch meat before his fifth period Trig, attempted to diffuse the situation

“So, who watched the Witcher over break?”

“I did, it was great, loved Geralt” You replied, eager to change the subject but unfortunately, it looked as though you weren’t going to get out of this mess yet.

“Of course you did, your love of Ren has exposed your cave man kink, you love an angsty man” Poe teased, apparently, he decided he didn’t want to be on your team anymore and high-fived Rey, forgetting their past beef as she joined in, deepening her voice and widening her shoulders:

“Hm fuck, (Y/N), I love you, be Mrs Ren”

“I’d die for you (Y/N), I’m ignoring you to keep my heart safe”

“you like it when I grunt, I’ll show you a grunt”

It was at this point that you regretted munching down all your chips with such haste, and noticing the unfortunate lack of ammo you, instead of attacking the duo, proceeded to flip both of them off and dig your head into the table, with your bun whacking it dramatically in the process. However, this seemed to only give the pair more confidence:

“I only ever hunt for my own food and I kill my prey simply by raising my left hand threateningly, I can provide for our family (Y/N).”

“By the grace of my goth training I will not be seduced by Coldplay.”

When the bell went off, you practically skipped to biology, moving away from the trio, still holding up your middle fingers, as Rey and Poe practically crawled to class, wheezing the entire way. It was Monday lunches like those that really made you thankful that none of your friends were interested in bio, with both Rey and Poe focusing on Physics and Finn avoiding sciences as though they were the plague. Its not that you didn’t love them and their bantering, but sometimes when you were in a mood, like today, it was hard not to get a bit salty about the whole situation and just need a break.

A break to work on your Solo experiment. It was on the walk to class when you thought about whether Kylo would acknowledge you today, that you realised that maybe Rey was right about your stalker eyes. But now was no time to back down. You knew that with Kylo it was all about consistency, he was like a jittery animal; jump at him and he will almost definitely run for the bushes and avoid you for life, but if you approach him slowly, letting him gain some familiarity, maybe throwing in some “sksksk-ing” as though he were a cat, he might let you in. So, in that logic you assumed that if you popped up around him now and again, he might realise that you mean no harm. Or he would avoid you further, only time would tell.

Reaching the class room and plonking down in one of those high-up science stools you began to ponder; why did science feel the need to make its seats absurdly tall. They were those types of seats that were, normally, exclusively used at hipster ice cream parlours or smoothie bars. They always made sitting down so uncomfortable, giving you absolutely no back support and your knees would consistently knock off the metal bar of the desk leaving an unflattering gum stain on your jeans, for the rest of the day. Maybe that’s why everyone found science hard to grasp, because they spent the whole period trying to contort their bodies in a way that would make sitting comfortable. It was during that very intelligent inner monologue that Kylo stomped in and plopped into his seat, on the other side of the class, crunching his knees under the desk. You could practically hear his six-foot frame groan at being pushed into such an awkward seat. That couldn’t be comfortable you thought, before diverting your attention from the dark prince to Mrs Barr, ready to be riveted by some spores, fungi and bacterium. Delicious.

And all was going swell up until the end of the period; your notes were tidy, you only lost interest a couple of times but you seemed to understand what she was getting at, then she started talking about the next assignment. Partner work was the first issue with the task. It wasn’t ideal but you always knew that Jess would be willing to group up, but then, issue number two, Mrs Barr pulled a fast one and said that she would be picking the pairs. Well, fuck. Finally, for issue number three, what did the woman do? She only went and paired you up with Kylo, just before sending the class away, to go figure out in their teams what they were going to do their projects on.

To some people this would have been a godsend, but when you saw his gaze latch on to you and his frown deepen, you couldn’t help but want to crawl into a hole and die. Yes, you wanted to get him to be your friend again and yes, you suppose this would help, but you wanted the reconciliation to be done on your terms. Your slow and steady pace. This caused the process to go from a crawl to a sprint and quite frankly, it was probably going to give you whiplash. And if that didn’t Kylo suddenly being right in front of your face would. Somehow despite his large stature, he could move incredibly quietly if he put his mind to it. It made you wonder if he stomped down the hallways for theatrical purposes, maybe you could ask him when he stopped staring daggers at you. But it didn’t look like he would anytime soon.

“Oh, Hi, Kylo” you stuttered out to him, tilting your head up as far as it would go, he was much taller up close.

“We are gonna need a study space, my house is empty, Leia’s working. So, assuming you can walk ten feet without falling we can work there.”

Wow, maybe Poe was right about him lacking some social skills.

“Yep, that’s fine” you replied in a less friendly tone than before, sure you wanted him to be your friend, but you weren’t going to be a doormat.

“Fine, four o’clock, don’t be late.” And with that he stomped away in a cloud of rage.

Well, maybe you made a mistake in wanting to be his friend again. You supposed you would find out after school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OooOOoh, What's gonna happen? Honestly, I don't even know yet I haven't planned anything. 
> 
> Drop a comment and some kudos to make me feel good pls! Or don't :^( 
> 
> Thanks for reading,   
> Nina XOXO


	3. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe is being a big bitch...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: swearing! yeehaw
> 
> Also some high school tomfoolery ft emo Kylo Ren

Fear is for the weak. you are not nervous, you won’t let yourself be. That pit in your stomach didn’t have anything to do with Kylo Ren, you just hadn’t eaten since lunch, where you technically lost some food when you chucked it at Rey’s head. Sure it was only one chip you lost but a chip was a chip. You always bit the skin around your nails, nothing new there and a jittering leg, you came out the womb with that tick, maybe you should see a doctor about it; loose nerve, maybe? can nerves be loose? 

“Right (Y/L/N), Fess up, why you lookin’ like you’re being hunted? You’re leg’s making me dizzy with all that shaking.” 

Poe asked while changing gears; he’d been your ride home since you started high school and he always used being trapped in a moving hunk of metal to his advantage. Often using the same tactic, pretending to be caring or nonchalant whilst asking you a question, luring you into a false sense of security before pouncing on you for gossip. You distinctly remember that one time, when you were both freshmen, and you had a crush on Snap, one of Poe’s team mates and he drove round town for an hour trying to get you to spill the beans after he saw you looking at Snap for a second too long. 

However, although pushy, Poe was incredibly trustworthy and never told a soul about what you had said, not even Finn. So really you should get some stress relief out of these car sessions, because free therapy, right? But because you were so damn stubborn and loathed smug look on his face when you finally cracked, you opted to suffer in silence.

“I don’t know what your on about, I’m fine.”

You knew a response like that wasn’t strong enough to stop his questioning but you were only five minutes away from your house. Surely it would hold him till then. Nope. 

“Lies!” 

Huffing, you angled your body further away from your tormentor glaring in the rear mirror, while he began his line of questioning.

“Well, you were fine at lunch, so what happened between now and then?” 

“Alright inspector gadget, there is no need to examine this case. I. Am. Fine” 

“I know you have Bio after lunch, so whatevers got you in a funk happened then.”

“Nothing happened!”

“Connix accidentally set your hair on fire again? Nah, you would smell crispy, last time you smelled sooooo crispy when that happened. You stepped into the car and I thought you brought bacon”

“Poe, drop it already!”

“Oh ho ho, I Know” He took one hand of the wheel and pointed at you shaking a single finger in your direction

“This is about Ren, he’s in that class, what did he do, mutilate a puppy?” 

“Stop being an Asshole, he isn’t that bad” You couldn’t believe you were defending him after he was a dick to you but here you were.

“(Y/N), He killed his Dad” he deadpanned

“Oh please, he did not. I saw Han taking out the trash this morning, fully functioning and oh yeah, NOT dead.”

You were so close now, your house was right there, shining bright and filling you with so much hope. How you had managed to stall him for this long you’d never know, maybe Poe was losing his game.

You never though that the crooked fence, that your Dad put up one summer and never maintained, would bring you such joy but in this moment nothing looked so good. And it was getting nearer and nearer…. until you had to turn your head around to see it. It was behind you. So focused on the house, it took you a second to process that you had driven past it. That bastard was driving away. 

“Um, Poe, my house is that a-way” You nudged your head backward, pleading him with your eyes to let you out. And when that didn’t work and he kept on moving, you tried faining innocence:

“I mean, don’t worry about going back. You have a lot going on, I’ll just get out here and walk. Thanks for the ride though” 

Smirking at your attempts, Poe just kept his foot on the gas until soon your house wasn’t in sight anymore. What time was it anyway? You said you would meet Kylo at four, which already left you a bit squeezed for time, especially if you wanted to look somewhat decent. Ugh half three, well say goodbye to your post school PB&J. 

“Fine!” 

You dramatically huffed before continuing to explain the event of your bio class to Poe and your subsequent pairing with Kylo. And with a cheeky grin on his face your ex-friend did a U turn back to your house, looking very much like the cat who got the cream. But before he let you out he bestowed a final piece of wisdom upon you: 

“Remember not to look at the reproductive system (Y/L/N), we all know Ren’s a big virgin and he won’t be able to stop himself from popping one up. And I don’t think you’ll be able to deal with that yet.” 

“says you, Finn bent over yesterday and you couldn’t speak for twenty minutes!” the blush that rose up onto his cheeks after you said that suggested that you had won this battle, so you happily skipped through the door to get changed.

A part of you knew that wearing all black in order to impress a boy was silly; you just wanted him to be your friend again, you didn’t need to go to these lengths to impress him. But as you daintily chewed on the crust of your sandwich in an attempt to avoid smudging your lipstick, you knew that you were a goner and just dealt with the fact that you were now trying to garner his attention through a new emo-esk aesthetic that, if you were being honest with yourself, suited you. 

While continuing to pick at your appearance it became hard to stop yourself from feeling excited by the idea of your study session, especially after spending weeks pining for his friendship. You finally felt as though you has a shot at maybe getting him to like you again, or at least tolerate you for a little while, which was a start. You had managed to gain his trust before and you could do it again. 

And so with a final brush of your hair and a dusting away of any crumbs on your tee, you grabbed you books and pranced down the stairs, prepping yourself to charm the fuck out of Kylo Ren.


	4. study buddies

As you closed the door to your house and walked across the yard into the unclaimed territory that was the side walk, inching ever closer to Ben’s house, your confidence began to sink. You felt akin to an exposed Mafia rat that had a meeting with the boss to have cinder blocks tied to your ankles and pushed into the Hudson. Your two second walk across the street had turned into an existential crisis, that you most certainly weren’t expecting. You were now being suffocated by all the possible scenarios that hadn’t came to mind until now:

“What if he’s been ignoring me because he never really liked me?”

“What if Poe’s right and he is a dick, I mean five years can really change a person” 

“What if he actually did kill his dad…. No stop it I saw Han this morning”

“Did his door get redder? Is it from the blood of his enemies? Wait his door… holy shit I’m at the door already.”

As if they were acting out of spite, your feet managed to carry you to the one spot where you did not want to be. Sure, five minutes ago you would have been jazzed to be there, ring the bell and get down to business. But now you had changed your mind; you didn’t feel great, all the black you were wearing was beginning to itch at your light-hearted soul and you felt ridiculous figgiting outside his door. 

And then suddenly the big hunk of red was removed from your sights almost as quickly as it entered them, and the sight you saw was a lot more intimidating. For it revealed the mass that was the subject of your new anxieties, none other than Kylo Ren. The fact that you were shocked by his appearance was silly, looking back on the matter, in a few years time, you could maybe laugh at the fact that you were so surprised to see him but right now you were filled with nothing but cringe. 

“Why the fuck have you just been standing out here? Get in we have shit to get on with.” 

With that he swiftly turned around, creating a gust of harsh and dramatic wind which almost pushed you back to your house. Perhaps that was his plan all along. 

Ever the dutiful host he left the door open for you to follow inward, most likely to your doom. 

The atmosphere as you shut the door and began to shuffle down the front hall was beyond frosty, so frosty that even Jack Frost himself would get a chill and say “Whoa, who the fuck turned the heating down”. It made you grimace to think of the next few days working together; you would have to make the same journey across the road, into Kylo’s house and follow him in, shivering the entire way. 

This was worse than entering a strangers house. It was as though you simultaneously knew everything and nothing about Kylo- or maybe it was that you knew everything about Ben and nothing about Kylo. That thought distressed you even more than all the others. Maybe, he was a stranger to you now. 

As if sensing your distress, a whack of nostalgia literally hit you as Chewie his family dog, or wolf, tackled you to the ground. You hadn’t seen him up close in years; Han always preferring to take him out for a walk either obscenely early or frighteningly late. So examining him up close as he licked at your face and pawed at your hands for a scratch, you could see the way time had aged him. His fur was laced with a few greys and was a little more wirey and his back leg seemed to limp when walking. But this did not detract from the fact that he was still one of the sweetest dogs on the planet. Therefore, you would treat him as such: 

“Oh, Hey boy long time no see!” you said as a way of reply to his greeting, while smooshing his face and patting his ears. And as your eyes drifted upward towards Kylo you saw the barest, tiniest simile appearing. This was your window you thought, changing your attentions to Kylo: 

“If Chewie is this happy to see me I can only imagine how he reacted when he saw you again” 

The smirk you saw intensified for a brief second before slowly descending again, being covered over with a mask of sadness and then one of anger. It was like he was building back up the walls that he slowly let fall down for that one second. Before he replied was a monotone: 

“He was the only one that was happy to see me” 

That reply was like a stab to the gut. It made that ache appear in your stomach that would only rise up when you would read a sad book or heard about a hurt animal. You wanted to scream that you had missed him too, that you thought about him all the time when he was a way, but before you could he had already turned around and walked into the living room. Again you wordlessly followed.

He already had his books and computer set up on top of the coffee table and he himself was plonked on the floor next to them. It was hard not to remember all the times you had sat next to one another like that when you were younger, except instead of computers, you had chicken nuggets and he would, instead of staring at his book, chat with you. The coffee table was the same but the room was different. The once cream walls were now grey and the family photos had now been replaced with an ugly painting of a bridge. 

When you plonked yourself down next to him he slowly shuffled away, almost unnoticeably, before grunting: 

“Well I was thinking the easiest and quickest way to get this done is obviously to show the rapid growth of shit.”

“Yeah… but we don’t have the stuff to make an experiment like that feasible, it’s meant to be household stuff we use” you replied 

He looked annoyed that you would even dare to question him as though he was forgetting that he was meant to be in a team with you. Giving him an equally as irritated glance he relented and began to explain: 

“Baking full of science (Y/N), so all we have to do is make some bread starter, which is yeast, and then track how big it gets” 

“You want to make bread?” 

The big bad Kylo Ren wanted to bake? You almost certainly couldn’t keep yourself from smiling now. 

“No, just the yeast starter, but close enough” he shrugged before cluing onto your amusement and snipping 

“Unless you have any better ideas?”

“No, no, that sounds good. Paul Hollywood will be very proud” you chuckled and he seemed to enjoy your remark before again going stoic. 

“Well, there isn’t much we can do today other than look up recipes and draw some tables, but we can get flour and shit tomorrow to get started” And with that he turned his attention to his computer and you did the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Till the next chapter, comment and stuff if you want ;^)


End file.
